


Back to Nowhere

by holyroller



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, M/M, Open Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reunions, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 21:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9625814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyroller/pseuds/holyroller
Summary: The Sierra Madre killed a little piece of him somehow, so this was the least it could do for him. It could reunite Christine and Veronica.





	

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my boy's first fic. i'm developing his personality and so the first thing i've wanted to tackle is his inability to properly deal with real traumatic stress. pls.
> 
> anyway, there should have been a dialogue option to tell veronica abt christine or vise versa.
> 
> no beta, and i've only re-read it like 3 times. pls to tell me if something is weird, thank you.

A terrible wave of panic flows through him as the last of his ammunition goes into the ghost person directly in front of him. It goes down and he knows he has to take the blade at his side and cut its head off, but three are rapidly gaining on him. One jumps and he only barely manages to get out of the way. He makes a dash for the one that was downed and it stirs as he nears it. He yells in frustration and rising panic as he keeps running forward. The gun that Elijah had given him had run out of ammo long ago. He hadn’t even seen a stimpack since he’d arrived and the gun he’d found had also just run out of ammunition.

The four ghost people begin making their way towards him as he heads for the nearest turn, only to be met with fog. He yells again and turns back, but the ghost people are less than five feet away. The panic is making him shake all over and he takes a deep breath as he heads into the fog. It fills his lungs immediately. He knows he’s dying as he begins stumbling over in the fog. He feels a ghost person brush his arm. They don’t attack him; they just keep brushing against his shoulders.

He falls onto his back and one jumps on top of him. He screams as he feels it push down against his shoulders.

And then he wakes up.

His chest is rising and falling at a rapid pace and everyone he’s brought into the presidential suite of the Lucky 38 is looking down at him. There are tears in his eyes and his brown hair is soaked in sweat. He pants, catching his breath for a moment as he blinks the tears away. 

“Hey everyone,” he comments, turning his attention to Arcade, who’s still holding him down by the shoulders, “and if it’s all the same to you, I’d appreciate it if you waited ‘till I was awake before trying to climb onto me.”

Arcade glares in his direction, not amused whatsoever, “you were screaming. And thrashing around. What did you dream about?”

“Sex,” he lies flatly, “now please let go of me or else I’m gonna to have to make everyone leave and have you treat the result of that.”

Arcade lets him go and he sits up, looking at everyone else, “there anything you needed? Anyone?”

“We’re your friends, jerkoff,” Veronica comments, crossing her arms, “we heard you screaming and crying. We were worried.”

“I appreciate that, I really do,” he replies, rubbing his face with his hands, “but as you can see, you worried for nothing so if you don’t mind,” he gestures towards the door. 

“Why do we put up with him?” Cass asks as she walks out, Boone at her side.

“Technically we work for him,” Raul responds, a slight bitterness in his tone.

They all make their way out of his bedroom inside the presidential suite, all except for Arcade.

“I’m afraid that included you, darlin’,” he turns his back to Arcade, feeling as tired as he did before he’d gone to sleep.

“You know no one believed that for a second, right?” Arcade says from behind him, “there’s clearly been something wrong with you since you got back from that casino.”

“Nope. Nothin’ wrong ‘cept for the fact that we can’t find any merchant who’s got enough caps to exchange for those gold bars,” he replies. His eyes are still open. If he shuts them he sees the ghost people again.

He can feel Arcade’s frown from behind him.

“Look. I’m not going to treat you like you’re a child but if you want this to stop you have to tell someone about what the hell happened in there,” Arcade walks out of his room.

And yeah, the doctor’s probably right. But, there’s no way he’s ever going to re-live what happened in that casino. A chill sets in the pit of his stomach when he remembers how he’d woken up at the fountain. The way the fog looked in the dark. 

He’d been back from the Sierra Madre for a few days now and he still couldn’t sleep with the lights off. The first time he tried he’d woken up and nearly choked on his own spit, thinking the fog had reached his room somehow.

So he lies there for a while longer. He knows it’s probably the middle of the afternoon and that there was a room of people that genuinely cared about what he had been through. But even then, he couldn’t bring himself to tell any of them about how the paths through the villa seemed to get longer every time he went through them. About the way Vera Keyes’ voice haunted not only his nightmares but also anytime he was completely alone in the suite.

After a few minutes he manages to get himself to sit up. He slips on the old pair of jeans he loves along with the jacket that’s seen too much to still be wearable. He should probably throw it away, but he’s never seen any other garment of clothing that sparkles, so there’s no way he’s going to let it go. He takes a look at himself in the large chunk of mirror he keeps in the room. The bags under his eyes are still considerably dark, though the scars on the side of his face are healing nicely. The ugly green bruising from the collar is still noticeable. He pulls the collar of the jacket as high as he can before exiting the room.

He makes it through the day unscathed. He only hears Vera’s voice once and Dean’s laugh twice in a period of four hours. That’s a win in his book. Running the Lucky 38 had proven to be something he wasn’t completely terrible at. Cass had great management skills so she took up a lot of the responsibilities of running the hotel and casino while he—did other things. They were making great money and he was proud to be a part of that.

It’s the end of the day and he’s had one too many drinks. He staggers through to the den and plops himself down in a chair as Boone and Raul play a game of billiards. Arcade and Cass are deep in conversation about how to renovate some of the older rooms that were currently being rented out. And Rex is at his feet, relishing in being scratched behind his ears.

Veronica comes through the room and something clicks in his drunk mind.

“Vero!” he yells as she steps inside. She approaches him.

“Don’t call me that,” she says, taking the drink in his hand and sipping from it. He pouts and reaches for it, but she pulls it out of the way before he can find a balance. He spills out of the chair, landing on his chest at her feet. The others laugh and he finds himself laughing, too.

“Fine,” he says as he tries to sit up, “guess I won’t tell you about who I met at the Sierra Madre, then.”

“Oh, god. Don’t tell me that heartbreak is the reason you wake up screaming and crying,” Cass says from her seat. He frowns in her direction.

“No. She wasn’t into guys,” he adds.

“Guys or just guys like you?” Raul adds as he aims for one of the balls on the table. Arcade laughs at the comment.

“Do you wanna hear my story or not?” he finds a balance and sits cross legged on the ground as Veronica takes his seat.

“Of course,” Arcade replies, “we’re all ears.”

“I can’t tell if that was sarcasm,” he replies, glaring in Arcade’s direction.

“Tell us your story,” Boone says in his no-nonsense voice.

He takes that as a confirmation and begins.

“Alright, so. Her name was Christine, right? Great girl, had all this…this unbelievable shit happen to her. She was not able to physically speak when we met,” he notes Veronica’s curious look on him as he continues, “and anyway, she said she’d been with the Brotherhood. I’d made a note to ask if you’d known her.”

Veronica stares down at him with an expression he can’t read in his current state of mind.

“Hey—are you alright?” Cass asks, getting up from her chair. She goes over to Veronica who’s still staring forward. 

“Where- where is the Sierra Madre?” Veronica asks after a few seconds.

“Dunno. Was drugged and dragged there against my will by a super mutant,” he shrugs and Arcade turns to look at him with a shocked expression, “and you all saw how high I was when I came back.”

“Where did this happen?” Veronica asks. Cass has a hand on her shoulder.

“Old Brotherhood of Steel bunker I found. I went in, saw some things. Black out, wake up with a fucking collar on my throat! Bomb collar!” he laughs hysterically. He reaches up to trace the ugly bruising on his neck as he remembers the way it would tingle against his neck as he approached the radios. The way his heart would beat so loudly it became deafening at times against the stillness of the Sierra Madre. He’s still laughing as he does so.

“Hey,” Arcade stands now, walking over to him, “are you alright?”

He can’t hear Arcade. His hearts thumping against his chest and it’s all he can focus on. He can hear the radio in the distance, a panic comes through him for a second before he realizes that he’s rubbing his neck. The collar’s gone. 

“Jackson!” Arcade yells, kneeling in front of him. The sound of his own name brings him back. It grounds him to the Lucky 38.

He feels Arcade’s hands come down on his shoulders and he looks up at the man. His brown eyes meet Arcade’s blue and there’s a moment of connection. Back to his reality. The Lucky 38, that was miles away from the Sierra Madre.

Boone and Raul have now walked over to watch the entire thing unfold. Veronica’s talking with Cass in hushed whispers.

“Sorry,” Arcade says, “I know you hate the full name, but I need you to realize that you’re not okay. You got that? You’re not okay, Jax. And somehow you’ve transferred some of that to Veronica.”

Jax feels Arcade’s hands slide down a little and he looks over the blond hair to Veronica who just appears saddened now.

“Sorry,” Jax feels sober now. He has the realization that he’s not when he tries to get up. Arcade helps him stand and then find his way back to his room. He falls over onto the bed when he reaches it. His back is to Arcade’s standing form again.

“You were made a slave?” Arcade asks softly. The lights are off and it’s off-putting, but somehow the other man’s presence lightens the tightening feeling in Jax’s chest.

“No,” he replies sternly. He wasn’t- well, not really. It was more of a motivator. Slaves were- the Legion had slaves. Jax had definitely not been one of those.

“Bomb collar?” Arcade sits down on a side of the bed, “And it was on you for a long time, given the state of the bruising.”

“How long was I gone?” Jax asks. There was no concept of time in the Sierra Madre.

“Nearly two months,” Arcade replies. His tone’s maintained the same softness his initial question had.

“Huh,” Jax shudders. He can’t shut his eyes out of fear the ghost people will come back. He also can’t keep them open. He’s starting to see some of the fog out of the corners of his eyes. It’s coming.

“So you were kidnapped and made a slave. That’s- I’m sorry I don’t know what it is I can even say. That’s fucked up,” Arcade reaches over to put a comforting hand on Jax’s turned back. Jax tenses at the touch and he takes a deep breath.

“No. I’m not gonna talk about it. So stop asking,” Jax mutters. He wants the lights on.

“Fine,” Arcade’s weight is gone from the bed after a few seconds. Jax hears the door open and is immediately up and clumsily reaching for the light switch as soon as Arcade has left.

He doesn’t sleep much that night. He wakes up after another round of running from ghost people with Dean Domino’s pretentious laugh in the distance and can’t bring himself to try and sleep again. Instead, he gets into the elevator, still wearing the clothes he had been the day before. He adjusts the collar of his jacket as the elevator dings, leaving him on the main floor.

The casino runs as well as it can in the early hours of the morning. The few people they’d managed to hire as the morning staff are behind tables, walking around with drinks, or just talking to some of the tourists that are coming through. There’s not many, but enough to create some sort of still ambience, which is rare in New Vegas, but not unwelcome. 

And he spots her at the bar. She’s not drinking anything, she’s just sitting. A pang of guilt hits his chest for a second. He had no idea what he’d said that had upset her. It wasn’t necessarily his fault, but he still feels he should say something to her. He makes his way over, gesturing to the bartender that he wanted something. The bartender, knowing him all too well, brings him a Nuka Cola instead of vodka.

“Hey, uh. I’m sorry for- you know, earlier. I’m not entirely sure what happened, but, don’t think I’d ever try to upset you on purpose,” he says flatly. Veronica turns to look at him as he sits next to her.

“I find that hard to believe,” there’s a faint smile on her face and her tone is playful, “you do it to Boone, Arcade, Cass. Raul. Everyone.”

“Yeah, okay, that’s fair. But, alright. Say I had to go out somewhere on an expedition, where I knew there would be no coming back. I wouldn’t take Boone with me, I’d take you,” that’s an honest thing. He’s not sure where he’s going with it, but out of all the friends he’d made in the Mojave since being shot in the head, he definitely esteems Veronica more than the others. Something about her just tugs at his gentler instincts.

“That’s not a compliment, but I’ll take it,” she laughs faintly, reaching over to take the soda that had been brought to him.

“So, are we good?” he asks. She nods and he reaches over the counter to grab one of the bottles of alcohol. He’s not sure what it is at first, but the golden liquid in the bottle seems promising.

“You shouldn’t be doing that, you know,” Veronica says.

“I own this place, you know,” Jax responds brashly as he pours himself a drink. He wants to drink it, but the smell of what he now knows is whiskey is making him nauseous for some reason.

“Not that. I mean avoiding the giant elephant you brought into the room with you when you came back from the Sierra Madre,” Veronica’s watching him a little more intently now.

“The only giant elephant I brought is currently stacked in the locked closet in my room. Fifteen nice golden bars put together to make a nice giant elephant,” he drinks the whiskey anyway. It burns the back of his throat and sets in his stomach way too heavily. He probably shouldn’t have done that.

She rolls her eyes, “I knew her.”

She’s thrown him off again, “who?”

“Christine,” Veronica says, there’s a solemn expression on her face, “I knew her.”

“Oh,” several things click inside Jax’s head. Primarily why Veronica was so upset when he’d mentioned Christine. They must have been close.

“We were in love,” she continues. Several more things click in his head.

“She could still be there,” he offers. A sense of urgency sets into his chest. He could do that for her. He could definitely do that for her, given how poorly the situation with the Brotherhood of Steel had turned out for her. 

“You think so?” there’s a gleam of hope in her eyes when she looks at him again.

“Absolutely,” it feels like a stone dropped in his stomach after he spoke. He did not want to go back there. But, there was no going back from this now, “we could go.”

“When?”

He looks around at the casino for a moment. The stone has invited other stones to drop in his stomach and he’s sure if he wasn’t holding onto the bar his hands would be shaking, “now.”

“I’ll be out in an hour,” she gets up from the bar and makes a beeline for the elevator. He pours himself another drink and downs it in one go. He figures he may as well prepare himself for the nightmare that was to come. But, he could do this. He got shot in the head and lived long enough to find the guy who shot him for fucks sake. He could do this.

He gets up from the bar, leaving the bottle there. He takes a few steps towards the elevator before going back and taking the bottle with him. He can do this.

Veronica’s waiting for him in the hall outside his room within the hour, as she’s said. He’s packed all the stimpacks he owns. The lucky sniper rifle Boone gave him, the .45 pistol Joshua Graham had given to him, and the knife he killed a nightstalker with once. He’d changed into the riot gear and is currently staring at the helmet. 

He’d put it on but took it off as quickly as it had gone on. It felt like it had been suffocating him. A knock on his door shakes him from the memory.

“Hey, Jax. You good in there?” Veronica calls.

“Yeah, just gotta figure this stupid duster. You know how stiff it is,” he calls back. With a sigh he tosses the helmet onto the bed and rubs at the bruising on his neck as he walks out.

“Look at you, ready for battle. I thought you’d traded in that duster for the flashy jacket?” Veronica says with a small laugh as they get into the elevator.

“The old world outdoes itself sometimes. And last thing you want to be at the Sierra Madre is noticed,” he replies a little more seriously than he had intended. The elevator dings and they step out. Veronica heads for the door as he makes his way over to Cass, who’s talking to one of the casino attendants.

“Hey,” he says from behind her. She turns to him.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Cass asks. He nods in an attempt to be assuring but the weight in his stomach is still there. He leans in and presses a kiss to her cheek. She looks at him curiously when he pulls back.

“Veronica and I are gonna head out. If… for whatever reason I don’t come back, you’re in charge,” he doesn’t wait for her to respond to him. He still hears her yell, asking what the hell any of that meant, but he doesn’t answer her. He starts walking faster when he hears her come after him.

He’s out the door before she can reach him and it seems like he’s in the clear by the time they reach Freeside. With a sigh he takes a good look at the strip as they head towards the exit. It could very well be the last time he sees everything. He wasn’t kidding when he told Cass he might not come back. 

“So, you said you didn’t know how to get back to the Sierra Madre,” Veronica questions as Jax leads them to the Mormon Fort, “and now you do?”

“I- I vaguely remember how I got back. Though, there’s something else I’m kind of hoping for. You’ll see when we get there,” he replies as they make it to the fort. They head inside, running into Julie Farkas almost immediately.

“Julie, just the lady I was thinking of,” Jax says as smoothly as he can, earning an eye roll from the head medic.

“Yes, Jackson? How can I be of service?” She asks.

“Well, I do need stims. And if you’ve seen my other favourite medic around,” Jax pulls out a small sack of bottle caps. Julie hands him a set of stims and he hands her a pile of caps.

“Last I saw, Arcade was in with the recovering drug addicts,” she comments, “now if that’s all, I’ve got work to do.”

“Attentive and lovely as ever,” Jax nods in Julie’s direction before they head off to the tent designated for the addicts.

“Why are you looking for Arcade? And what did you tell Cass?” Veronica asks. She crosses her arms when they reach the tent, “you don’t actually think you won’t come back from this, do you?”

Jax doesn’t want to answer her. Yes, he absolutely thinks he might die, given the dreams he’d been having. But, he also wants to do this for Veronica. He couldn’t rest any better not knowing if Christine had left the Sierra Madre than he could now.

Instead, he gives her a look that hopes conveys what he’s trying to say. She watches him curiously in return.

Inside the tent, there’s an addict lying in a bed while Arcade sits behind a desk. He looks up at them and raises an eyebrow in their direction.

“Where are you headed off to?” he asks.

“Possibly my deathbed, babe, that’s why I’m here,” Jax opens the bag he carries with him, “I need you to give me all your stimpacks.”

“What?” Arcade stares back at him, a shocked expression on his face.

“It’s not a suicide mission, promise. Had enough of those. We’re gonna head out to the Sierra Madre,” Jax explains.

Arcade’s expression doesn’t falter, “and that’s not a suicide mission?”

“Nope. Elijah’s been locked in the vault. All should be well,” Jax gestures to the bag, “so, your stimpacks if you will.”

Arcade’s expression does soften as he reaches into a container and gives Jax five more stimpacks. There’s a small grin on Jax’s face as he looks down into the bag. It’s filled with ammo and nearly fifty stimpacks. He’s prepared.

“Now you have to come back,” Arcade says. 

“I’ll do my best,” Jax takes a step away from the desk towards the exit before stopping. He turns back and in a quick movement has leaned over the desk, pulling the medic’s face towards him. The kiss doesn’t last very long. Over before it really began, “but that’s in case I don’t.”

“You don’t have a choice. You have to,” it’s the last thing Jax hears Arcade say before they walk out of the tent.

“Wow. You really think you’re going to die, don’t you?” Veronica comments as they exit the fort, “we don’t have to go.”

“No, I want to go. I just- you never know; you know? Those… fucking Legion guys. Believe it or not I think Ulysses and I are friends now,” Jax explains as they reach Freeside’s exit, “we had this long ass talk after we got out of the Divide about new beginnings and then Joshua… he said getting shot in the head was my version of his getting thrown into the Grand Canyon while on fire.”

“Okay, but I can’t take anything you say about the burned man seriously,” Veronica replies as they wave to some of The King’s men when they exit.

“Despite all the talk about his god and whatever, Joshua’s got a lot of smarts,” Jax replies, “you just say that ‘cause you haven’t met him.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you refuse to bring him home,” Veronica says with a laugh.

“Why would I bring him here? And none of you ever want to go out to Zion,” Jax shakes his head and gives Veronica a perplexed look.

“That’s because only you are in love with Joshua Graham and are willing to make constant thousand mile trips to go see him,” Veronica replies as-a-matter-of-factly.

A strange wave of heat goes up to Jax’s face as he shakes his head, “okay, one. That’s not true. I don’t constantly go out to Zion. Just—you know, whenever I get the chance.”

“So you admit to being in love with the Legion’s former legate?” Veronica looks across at him curiously.

“Shut up,” Jax rolls his eyes, “the reason for this trip is _your_ love life. So why don’t you tell me about Christine?”

A tint goes up to Veronica’s cheeks and Jax feels the sweet sense of vengeance.

“I don’t know what I can say about her,” Veronica replies after a little bit, “I don’t know what still might be true.”

“Tell me how you two met, then,” Jax offers. Veronica goes silent for a few moments before she brings up their time with the Brotherhood of Steel. Jax watches her talk and a small smile forms on his face as he watches her face light up with emotion as she talks about Christine. 

By the time night falls, they find refuge wherever they can. The next few days are spent headed in the direction of the old Brotherhood of Steel bunker. Jax is hoping he can find Dog around. The super mutant would know how to get to the Sierra Madre no problem. If not, he’d have to rely on what little he remembered from his trip back.

At this stage in his life, the Mojave rarely scares Jax anymore. Nothing says wasteland bred like fighting off eight deathclaws with nothing but a missile launcher. Still, the night before they reach the bunker, Jax doesn’t have the nightmares. He dreams of Zion. 

When Veronica has to threaten to lift him and he finally gets up, he feels surprisingly refreshed. He figures it’s because his subconscious knows that he’s going off to face the real thing. It doesn’t want him to vividly remember the horrors that walked through the Sierra Madre villa. They do reach the bunker the next day, and Veronica gets the same chills he did when they enter. 

And as If on cue, they find the super mutant in question by the radio that carried Vera Keyes’ haunting voice throughout the bunker. 

“Dog!” Jax yells. He’s actually happy to see the super mutant. Veronica relaxes her fighting stance.

“Not at the moment,” the other persona replies, “what brings you to this bunker again?”

“I need to go back,” Jax replies, “I’ve got business there now.”

“I see,” the super mutant eyes Veronica, “you wish to bring your… mate?”

“No,” Jax crosses his arms, “this is my sister. She has business at the Sierra Madre. So if you would be so kind, can you escort us there?”

“I supposed I could. For old times’ sake.”

“Thank you,” Jax says with an exasperated sigh. 

It takes them a few more days to reach the Sierra Madre. When they come up to the court yard Jax feels his stomach sink. He can see edges of the fog near the top of buildings and it takes every ounce of self-control he has to keep walking. 

“Who would have thought that something like this existed out here…,” Veronica says softly as they pass through the gate. Dog has since returned to the Mojave and Veronica and Jax are left standing near the fountain. He has to stop for a moment, using the fountain ledge as a grip as he catches his breath. It quickly turns into hyperventilating.

“Hey, are you okay?” Veronica asks.

Jax can’t seem to catch his breath but nods anyway, “yeah. Ready for this. Let’s just- over there,” he gestures to the way directly into the casino. If they could make it without seeing a ghost person, he may be able to make it through the entire trip. They head down the path and Veronica gives a short laugh.

“It must be so creepy to be out here alone,” she comments as she looks at the buildings around her.

“You have no idea,” Jax’s breath seems to have returned to him, but his hands are shaking as he holds the .45 rifle close to his chest.

The casino’s entrance is in sight and Jax is ready to make a break for it when he hears the familiar grumbling. He freezes in place, unable to think. He knows it’s coming but he can’t move. He hears Veronica say something but he’s not sure what it is. He hears a scuffle. A yell, the grumble gets louder. He finds his ability to move and turns to find the creature in a fight with Veronica not too far from him. His instincts try and command him. Shoot. He pulls the gun out, but his hands shake too violently for him to be able to aim properly.

The grumbling gets louder and it becomes the only thing Jax can hear. He wants to yell, wants to help Veronica. But, he can’t. He holds the gun out and his vision begins faltering. The fog, it’s the fog. It’s got to be the fog.

He blacks out with Veronica and the creature a few feet away from them. 

 

When he comes to, they’re inside the casino already. They’re in the main lobby and his head’s lying in Veronica’s lap. 

“Wow. What the hell was that?” She asks as he covers his face with his hands. A warmth spreads up to his face as he remembers what happened. How embarrassing.

“One got me from behind,” he replies through his hands.

“There was only one of them there. A little warning would have been nice, you know. That guy scared the shit out of me when he got up,” she runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to comfort him.

“Sorry. You gotta sever a limb for them to be dead proper,” he offers, still through his hands.

“It’s okay. We’re even now. I dropped you when he got up,” she replies with a laugh.

“Thanks,” he says dryly. The embarrassment has passed for the moment and he brings his hands down. He stares up at the ceiling past Veronica’s sitting form. It was strange being back in the casino again. He never found where the ghost people had come through when he’d been down there. He figures Elijah had let them in, but at the time he didn’t have much time to think about it. 

“If she’s around, she should be in here somewhere,” he says after a few moments. He sits up, running a hand through his sweaty hair, “you take downstairs, I’ll take upstairs.”

“Is it more dangerous downstairs?” She asks, almost knowingly. Yes, there were less chances to run into a ghost person upstairs, and the holograms had long since been turned off.

“You get knocked out by an unseen enemy once and all of a sudden you’re avoiding the danger,” he replies sarcastically, “there shouldn’t be anything in here anyway. If you spot a hologram it will absolutely try to kill you. Look for its projector, like a giant white blob on the wall.”

“Got it. Be careful,” Veronica warns as she makes her way out into the main casino hall. He heads up the stairs, heading towards the elevators to the rooms first. He was going to check on the vault first. The stones fall back into his stomach as the elevator to the upper floors dings, letting him into the halls again. 

It’s nothing he hasn’t done before, but that doesn’t make it any less off-putting. He makes his way back to the elevator, relieved it was still unlocked. It was much easier to get to the vault than it had been the first time. He absentmindedly rubs the bruise on his neck as he heads through to the vault. He walks down towards the vault when he hears a hacking sound. He steps closer and finds Elijah sitting behind the force field, as he’d been left over a week ago now.

“You’ve come back. And for what? To mock me?” Elijah doesn’t get up from his spot on the ground.

“Absolutely. I care so much about this stupid casino and all the shit outside that I absolutely had to come back,” Jax crosses his arms.

Elijah laughs, “you forget the pip boy worked both ways. I know what impression the Sierra Madre has left on you. I doubt you’ve forgotten any of it.”

Jax rolls his eyes, “I’ll have you know I sleep like a god damn nightstalker pup.”

“In the middle of the day?” a haunting voice says from behind him. It sends a chill down his spine, but he knows who’s behind him.

“Christine!” He turns away from the force field, happy to see her, despite her new voice being the one that haunts his dreams sometimes. Her hair’s grown out a little and the scars on her face have healed slightly. 

“I would appreciate maybe a knock on my front door,” she says as he walks towards her. She’s not entirely prepared for the hug he gives her. He rests his head on her shoulder as he speaks.

“How’ve you been?”

“Better,” she assures as she relaxes slightly. He lets go and remembers why he’s there.

“Have I got a surprise for you. You’ll never guess who I’m actually best friends with,” he starts. The fear that pooled in his stomach for the entire trip, passing out, it had all been worth it.

“Who?” she crosses her arms.

“Veronica,” he says with a grin. Christine eyes him suspiciously.

“Your Veronica,” he tries again, “she’s here. With me.”

Christine’s face becomes unreadable and Jax gestures for her to say something.

“Why?” is the response he gets.

“What do you mean, why?” he gives her an incredulous expression, “don’t you want to see her?”

“No,” Christine answers seriously. Jax can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“Don’t tell me it’s cause of what’s happened,” he crosses his arms, “the Big Empty. Elijah. You’re better than this.”

She shakes her head, “I don’t know if I’m ready. It’s been a while.”

He raises his hands in resignation, “I can assure you that she wants to see you. It’s up to you if you wanna head back upstairs. She’s looking for you, too.”

“It was her idea to come back here?” Christine asks, wary.

“Yeah. I mean—you and I spent some time together. You know how much I love this place,” he shakes his head, as if shaking the memories away. When they were trying to get into the casino, they spent a few days trying together before he had to go and find Dog. She happened to walk in on one of the more restless nights.

She laughs, “alright. If she’s come down all this way—for me. I think the least I can do is go upstairs.”

He gives her another grin and takes her by the hand, going to the long way back and avoiding going out by the fountain. He’s sure that Christine notes this, but doesn’t comment on it. 

When they’re back at the lobby he goes through to the Cantina. He finds Veronica digging through a terminal in one of the back rooms on the upper floors.

“I’ve got good news!” he calls out, scaring her in the process. She turns and looks at him expectantly. He pats her shoulders until she fully stands. He takes off back towards the lobby. When he reaches it, he sees Christine by the door to the elevator.

“You weren’t honestly thinking of leaving were you?!” he calls out to her. He’s a little insulted on Veronica’s behalf. Christine takes a step towards the railing. She opens her mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. For a second Jax thinks she’s watching him, but turning around reveals that she’s looking at Veronica, who in turn is looking at Christine.

“I’m gonna- I’ll be in the Cantina,” Jax takes a step backwards and leaves the two there. He doesn’t wander, he doesn’t try and do anything. The Sierra Madre killed a little piece of him somehow, so this was the least it could do for him. It could reunite Christine and Veronica.

He heads over to the counter and slides everything on it onto the ground. He hops on top, watching the silent room for a moment before moving to lie down on the counter. With one leg bent while the other’s outstretched, he looks up at the ceiling, putting an arm behind his head. The trip here had done him some good, he thinks. Save for passing out in front of the ghost people, he thinks he could walk around the place and not completely feel like he’s going to die now.

Sleep came and he didn’t even notice when. He dreams of the ghost people again. He runs into the fog again. It’s the feeling of falling that wakes him up just in time for him to get a face full of the ground. He groans as he tries getting himself in a sitting position. He figures he’d been screaming when both Christine and Veronica come in. He catches the moment they let go of each other’s hands so he’s just grinning up at them stupidly when they reach him.

“Did you see one of those things?” Veronica asks, a slight look of concern on her face as she looks around.

“Nope. Took a dive off the counter to see what it’d feel like. Turned out to be not as fun as I thought it would be,” he says through the grin. Christine won’t meet his eyes. This is going great. A moment of awkward silence sets and he realizes he’s the odd man out. Literally.

“So, if it’s all the same to you ladies I’m gonna head back to the Mojave,” he stands, stretching for a second before going towards the door.

“Are you going to be okay? By yourself?” Veronica sounds legitimately concerned.

“Have a little faith in me, Vero,” he doesn’t turn back to look at them. 

She doesn’t comment on his use of the nickname. Instead he hears rushed footsteps and feels her arms come around his chest. She’s hugging him now.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“Anything for you, you know that,” he means that. Since the things with the Brotherhood hadn’t gone the way either of them had planned it, he’s glad he’s found a way to make it up to her. Even if it was at the cost of embarrassing himself earlier.

“Come home anytime. And Christine’s welcome in my town anytime, too,” he assures her as she lets go. He turns to give her a last grin and wave before turning to Christine, “nice seeing you again. Come visit the Mojave anytime.”

“Nice seeing you, too,” Christine replies, a smile on her face as well. 

He turns again and makes his way down, the sinking feeling returned as he steps closer to the main entrance. He’d made peace with the building itself, but the villa was a completely different monster. He takes a deep breath before pulling his gun from his side. He takes a few more breaths as he reaches for the door handle and just sprints out.

He hears the grumble and groans of the ghost people, but he keeps running. And doesn’t stop until the Sierra Madre is a long distance away.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for allowing my terrible son into your homes!!!


End file.
